Random thoughts….

Coffee has 3 options for temperature
Cool and refreshing
Hot and jump starting
Room temperature and ass tasting

Due to uncontrollable circumstances:
I was walking through the mall the other day and came across this sign "Due to uncontrollable circumstances. We are out of a lot of our ice cream because someone left the freezer door open" Come on now, this should be obvious. This is not an uncontrollable circumstance. If you are going to use the first statement use something good as the second statement because that is totally controllable. It in fact is very controllable; close the door, don't leave it open. Fairly simple actually.

Now uncontrollable would be, the sun was so hot today it burned a hole in the roof and it melted all of the ice cream. Or that the chemical bonds of ice cream no longer support cold air, and we are now out. Hell, you could even go with the engine on the freezer failed.

"The correct statement for cold stone would have been due to employee incompetence someone (insert name here) left the door open and we have basically no ice cream."


I need to study the world before I can buy anything over $100. It has taken me 4 weeks of researching to be able to figure out which HDTV I was going to buy… that is a long time. Good news I know everything about tvs there is possibly to know and I could probably out talk a best buy salesman now.


Cookies are delicious

Vokda is cool again, just not in large sums or often.

Pet owners still suck

Dodgeball is fun and I wish it would make a come back... to bad the fat kid's parents don't like their kids to be picked on. And why not? Dodgeball (I would assume) used to be a motivation to get into shape so you wouldn't be pelted by your classmates with red balls for 2 hours a week. Now what? Nothing is and this nation is fat now. Way to go parents you made the next generation into a bunch of fat pussys who can't take a kick ball to the face. I bet you were the people that put the stop signs on the back of the peewee hockey jerseys too.

p.s. it only made me hit them harder in the back.

The following line will never get you laid “Honey, I am going to start farting in front of you now”
Rules or scrabble are as follows it’s a word as long as it is in the dictionary. New gameplan start putting random made of up words in the dictionary and play scrabble. Try and argue the fact that it was not in the dictionary on that one!
Coming home and immediately stripping down to your boxers is probably the greatest feeling ever.
After an entire day of staring at a computer screen I can not bring myself to look at a computer screen for more than 15 minutes for the remainder of the day… work is single handedly destroying the internet for me.

I have changed my stance on one thing; metal gear solid is now the top video series of all time… no questions asked. Yes, you name it; it is better than it. Zelda, yes better than Zelda the stories actually intertwine. Final Fantasy series, while in its later stages it has been epic but let’s face it 11’s side story with the 3 chicks and the dresses was the dumbest thing ever and so was 12 because there was no ending. They easily could have made more money by just remaking the greatest game ever final fantasy 7 but they did not. Resident Evil, while the stories run together and the horror is amazingly awesome… I still have to give the edge MGS, simply because an epic character like solid snake and the way the game changes slightly gives it the edge. (and if the make a MGS movie it will be the most epic thing ever) Mario, way better than this 2D cartoon piece of shit. No biggie.

I will never believe that a movie based on the hulk will look real or be good. Of course I could change my tune if I sat through an entire Hulk movie.

M. Night Shamaylanaananananananana is the worse director ever, and should not be allowed to produce anything after the debacle that was “the Village”

Coupons or coups remain an awesome idea but I constantly forget to use or bring them to the store.

Syracuse is better than whatever town you live in… because me, tim, and moose are here.

Tim Horton's is coming here, and no one believed me that it will single handedly loosen dunkin' donut's hand off of syracuse. I.E. get them off of every street corner. Thank god... TH is better anyway.

Bill Belijerk Sucks

For your convenience

Have you ever noticed that when you enter most public bathrooms now a days, the following sign is looking you in the face. For your convenience we have installed automatic flushers. Hmmmm..... Now shouldn't that be the other way around? Basically the place you are at, a restaurant, a mall, a grocery store has decided that you are not capable of flushing your own toilet. Now let me think about this, most people flush their own toilet at home, and take care of their business there so why can't we at this place? Well let's face it the location you are standing at has made the decision that you are not able to flush your own toilet and instead of wanting to clean up after you they have installed automatic flushers to stop that. It should really say for our convenience you can't fuck up the toilets in here, or break the toilets without really trying. So why even bother with the sign? There is no real point to it, and if there is a point to it; it isn't for my convenience I have a shoe and I can reach the flusher bar without your help thank you very much sign. It's not my fault that some people are bad apples and want to ruin your shit, so there is no reason to lie to my face and say for my convenience, because its not. Let's face it is irritating when the toilet goes off in the middle of going to the bathroom, one subtle move is all it takes to set that land mine off.

I mean come on its not like I sit here and say for your convenience I am going to offer some amazing political analysis when I am not. I mean come on, the flusher is eye level on the urinal. I mean who is thinking to themselves oh great I don't have to lift my arm to pull this lever down? How lazy do you have to be to not want to do that. Alright that's enough of this business.

Coming soon on random thoughts on life:
3:10 to Yuma review
AVP-R review
the new American Gladiators review

If I remember of course.